healing happens

Grief has a way of knocking you to your feet and making you feel like you will never be able to stand again.  It is paralyzing and deep.  You lose track of which way is up and which is down.  The darkness closes in and you forget what the light feels like. 

Grief has this way of taking over. 

When my mom passed I fell down the rabbit hole of grief and I never thought I would be able climb my way out.  My heart physically hurt and a constant stream of tears fell from my eyes.  It was a pain that I thought no one could heal.

Over time healing happens.  

In moments that you least expect it arrives gently.  A hand reaching out to hold yours.  Sitting with a friend and spilling your heart open. Gathering with family.  The sound of the ocean waves.  Finding feathers.  Seeing signs of her all around. 

Healing seeps into your heart and soul.  It reminds you that you are ok.  That you can make it through this.  That yes it hurts, and always will, but you can still keep stepping forward.  You can feel the sunshine on your skin and enjoy it. She would want you to do just that.   

what she taught me

She loved sunflowers, corny jokes, and being with her family.  She didn't ask for extravagant vacations, a stunning home or a glamorous life.  She just wanted to spend time around the ones she loved.  She would drop anything and everything to see her grandkids and her face would light up whenever she was with them.  

She instilled in all of us a love for the holidays.  And she instilled in me a love for crafting.  She taught us to be kind to others, to show respect.  She led by example, always showing up when we needed her.  

She was strong.  She believed in us.  She told us how much she loved us.  And would always cook our favorite meal for our birthdays.  Her gifts were thoughtful.  Her heart was expansive.  She cared deeply and wanted to see us all do well.  

My favorite memories are those where we were laughing over the silliest of things.  This usually occurred when we were crafting together.  We did this often, and those memories are tucked deep into my heart.  

Not a day goes by when I do not think of her.  Her, who taught me to spread my wings and fly. Her who loved sunflowers and sunshine.  Her who always had music playing in the house.  Her who is with me every single day.  I carry her around now, showing her the world from my eyes.