securing the foundation

And so it goes.  I keep coming here.  To this space where everything feels familiar, yet everything has changed.  I have been navigating my own way.  I have thought I have made progress.  But here I stand, right back in this same spot.  My eyes tired, my skin pale.  Have I learned anything from my journey?  Have I grown at all?  It feels as if I am swirling without making any steps forward.  

There is much in my heart that wants to come alive.  Stories to be told. Places to travel to.  Dreams to be reached.  Yet here I am, standing on rocky ground.  I know that I must fix my own foundation.  I must sure myself up before taking any steps forward.  I need to know that I am grounded and then I can take steps to fly. 

And so I am going inward.  Choosing to be present, fully present with all the feelings.  I am examining the damage and figuring out which steps to take next.  I am not rushing through the process as I normally do but rather excavating my way around.  I will crawl my way out.  I will rise again.  And when I do I will be stronger, wiser, and ready for life's unsuspecting glory.