Dear Signs from loved ones,

It was a warm spring night when my mom and I set off on an adventure to Brooklyn. We were on our way to meet Susannah Conway who was doing a reading of her book "This I know". I was thrilled about this moment in time for two reasons. One - getting to meet Susannah. Two - being there with my mom.

My mom and I had a usual mother daughter relationship. It was a rollercoaster ride of emotions. There were years when we were close and other years where we drifted apart not understanding one another. This moment in Brooklyn was a crossing over from not knowing and understanding one another to getting back on the same page and diving deep into a new terrain of friendship.

It was this night that I learned something about my mom I never knew. She had a sister she was very close to who passed when she was in her twenties {this I knew}. I was supposed to be named after her but the day I was born my Grandma told my parents it would be to much for her and so they quickly decided on the name Jennifer. What I didn't know is that since her passing she had sent my mom signs that she was around in the form of feathers.

In Susannah's book she talks about receiving similar signs from her late husband. My mom who struggled to open up to others shared this story with Susannah. As I stood and watched this interaction unfold my heart grew two sizes. There is something incredible about seeing your mom be vulnerable and real, especially when she struggled to do so. I stood there in that moment in complete awe and filled with gratitude.

Before my mom passed there were signs of feathers that felt as if her sister and father were calling her home and letting us know that she was going to be ok. I remember one day going over to my parents house to spend time with my mom after her diagnosis. She fell asleep on the couch so I went outside to get some air. I noticed a feather on the lawn and walked up to it. My eye caught other feathers. In fact they were all around her home. In the front lawn, the backyard, under the bushes. It was incredible. Their were no feathers on the neighbors lawn, just my parents.

After my mom passed Dustin and I went to the beach to spend the day. The beach was my moms favorite place to be and it is near the ocean that I feel closest to her. We drove to spot on the beach got out and decided to keep going down a little further. When we got out there was a feather sticking upside down in the sand. It was incredible, how did the feather land this way? What are the odds of this happening. I felt in my heart that it was my mom sending me a sign. Letting me know she loved me and was with me.

Now when I find a feather my heart smiles. I feel as if my mom is reaching out and speaking to me. It is a reminder that even though she isn't here in person she is always with me. I never noticed feathers before, and now seem to find the most interesting ones. I wonder if they were never there before or if I just wasn't looking for them.

What is incredible is sometimes I find them in the most unusual places. Like when my Father and I went shopping for Christmas gifts for my nieces and nephews and at the check out there was this tiny white feather dancing around the cashier. Or the feather at the bottom of the stairs at work, inside. Or how about the big feather I found on the property that we are going to build on the day I unexpectedly navigated my way there on my bicycle and the song Home by Philip Philips began to play in my ears.

Sure these could be all considered coincidences but I feel deep in my heart that they are signs from my mom. Each feather makes me smile and think of her. They are tangible reasons to believe that she is looking down on me.

Thank you dear signs for showing up when I need you most. For giving me hope and reminding me that I am not alone. I am so grateful for you.

xo
Jennifer

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