The love of your life is having a rough day. Nothing he has wanted to do has gone right. So on the way home from work you stop to pick up a lifesize helium Minion balloon because you know it will make him smile.
Your friend’s children are filled with an incredible amount of excitement and energy because there are only a few days left of school. She, on the other hand, is riddled with guilt because they are driving her up a wall and she isn’t sure how she will make it through the summer. So you take a moment to send her text message reminding her that she is absolutely thriving at being a mom.
Your co-worker has a to-do list longer than your desk. You know many of the deadlines are quickly approaching and how hard it can be sometimes to ask for help. So you jump in and take a few things off her plate.
Without even thinking twice you show up with compassion for others. Jumping in when they need your help. Reaching out a hand. Giving a hug. Doing things without even being asked.
It is so easy for us to give to others, yet so hard to do this for ourselves.
We think we have to do it all alone.
We struggle and struggle, not wanting to ask for help.
We push ourselves past our limits and empty our own tanks.
But what if we got better at showing up for ourselves? What if we realized that just as much as you want to help others, others want to step in and do the same for you? How would the narrative in your head change if you gave yourself a bit of compassion?
When you feel like you are headed towards running on empty do just ONE of these five things to get you back on track towards being compassionate and kind to yourself.
#1 Ask for help
I know, I know. It’s not an easy thing to do. But remember, when your friends are struggling you want to do anything they can to help you out. They want to do the same for you. The only thing is, they don’t know when you are struggling. Let them know. And let them know exactly how they can help. When you tell someone exactly what you need it makes it even easier for them to help you out.
Do you need them to pick up the kids from school so you can have an extra half hour for yourself? Do you need someone to drop off your library books because they are already really late and you don’t have a chance to go there? Do you need a hug?
#2 Recognize your limitations. Remember, you aren’t a superhero
I know, I know. We like to think that we are superheroes and can do it all. And sometimes we can. But there are other times when it just isn’t possible. You are only one human being and there are only 24 hours in a day. You need time to eat and sleep along with all the other hundreds of things that are on your to-do list.
You know what you are really good. You also know where you struggle. Recognize your limitations and then go back to number one on the list and ask for help.
Is it a struggle for you to make that doctors appointment you know you need to make. Yet you have a good friend who loves to be on the phone and will make the call for you in a second. In fact, she has been the one bugging you to make the call. Ask her to help you out and make the call for you. She will probably have it done within the hour because just like you, she isn’t a superhero but she does have some superpowers and making appointments is one of them.
#3 Give yourself a break
I know, I know. Your list just keeps getting longer. Your head is spinning and you don’t think you have even a second to give yourself a break. But I promise you, it is when you are in this crazed spiral that you most need one.
Step away from whatever it is you think you must be doing in the moment and get some fresh air. Take a walk around the block. Lie in the grass and look up at the clouds. Sit on your front steps and just breathe. Whenever you go just push yourself out the door, even if it is just for five minutes. This small pocket of time and the fresh air in your lungs will help you clear your head. You will go back to the task at hand refreshed and ready to take it on from a different perspective.
#4 Be patient
I know, I know. We want it and we want it NOW! But sometimes that just isn’t possible, and that is ok. Be patient. Recognize all that is happening, all that you are doing, all that it takes to make these things happen. Some things take more time than we wish they would. Other things just aren’t meant to happen for you.
Remember it is ok if the house is a mess, the laundry isn’t folded and you didn’t get to everything today. It’s ok if you make mistakes, fall down, and have no idea where you are going or where you are gonna end up. Be patient.
#5 Show up with love for YOU
I know, I know. This one may sound a little out there. But believe me, when you show up with love, especially for yourself, everything else gets a little bit easier. Breathe love into your heart. Smile when you do this and it feels extra delightful. You deserve this kind of love. This unconditional, non-judgemental, wide open love. Feel it. Be in it.
Remember, how you treat yourself matters. Choose to show up with compassion for yourself.
Do you crave connection with like-minded souls?
As human beings, we need moments to connect and help us grow into who we are meant to be. Retreat is a beautiful and sacred way to cultivate this. It provides an opportunity to disconnect from the hustle and reconnect to your great big beautiful heart!
Choose to do something for yourself and join me by the sea! The ocean is an amazing place to detoxify your soul.