Jennifer Belthoff

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NYC marathon doubt

On my past few runs I have ventured off without my watch.  I would love to say that I choose to do it to see if I could trust my intuition, but in reality the battery was dead and I did not have the time to wait for it to charge.  So off I went.  

I do not look at my watch that often when I run, but I enjoy checking in with it to see where I am.  Sometimes it is frustrating because I feel great and the watch says I am running slower than I think.  Other times it is the flip side and I am feeling terrible and the watch says I am doing awesome.  I find it comforting on my long runs because it keeps me in check in the beginning and not running off to fast when I am in it for the long haul.  

As the marathon inches closer I am doubting the technology that I have been using.  Has it been telling me the correct miles?  Has it been measuring my pace accurately?  Am I really ready to take on this enormous adventure?    

Excitement is filling me up yet at the same time bits of self doubt are creeping in.  26.2 miles!  A feat I have never attempted before.  Hours and hours of training have gone into this, but will that be enough?  

I need to step back and realize that I have done all that I can.  I have shown up time and time again, even on days when I didn't want to.  I am ready.  I have prepared.  I will make it.  

Sometimes it can be hard for us to believe in ourselves.  We let those self doubt demons fill our head with their chatter.  But I know that as I step up to the starting line that I have given it all I got.  And as I pass my family and friends; hearing there cheers and seeing there smiles I will be infused with encouragement and gratitude to keep on going. 

One foot in front of the other.  Step by step I will get there.  Just as I have gotten here today.  I will make it across that finish line.