Jennifer Belthoff

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writing the letter

There was a time when my voice was shaky
I was unable to speak my feelings
Tongue tied and afraid
I couldn't get it out

"Write it down" he would say when I was struggling
And so I did


The page gave me freedom to sort through the feelings
What was in my head had space to come out
The fear dissipated 
As I wrote him letters expressing what was in my heart

Today my voice is stronger
I stand taller in who I am
I am no longer afraid to speak my mind

But I have held onto letter writing
Using it as a tool
Turning to it in difficult situations 
Even if the letter is never going to get sent 

A letter is personal
Upon the page you are choosing to share your heart with another
Addressing them you let it all spill out
Word after word your feelings become cohesive thoughts

The paper allows you a moment to pause
To think it through with out jumping the gun
It is open, and spacious
Never once judging as you sort through the muck

When you are at a cross roads
Afraid of the feelings brewing inside
Or unsure of how to really say what is in your heart
Turn to the page, and write them a letter

Give yourself permission to be honest
You could always tear it up in the end
And know that the letter doesn't have to get sent
But it must get written